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Manipulation involves maneuvering others—overtly or covertly—in order to get what you want. Wherever there is evidence of manipulation in relationships, you can be sure someone is playing “control” games.

These games can be very exciting—and very hurtful.

Manipulation is something of a Pandora’s box, encompassing as it does any one of a number of limiting beliefs which we need to release. Some of these beliefs include:

  • “The only way I’ll, ever get what I want is to manipulate”
  • “I feel more powerful/in control when I manipulate”
  • “If I am too honest with others, they will take advantage of me”

All of these beliefs are fear based. Realizing this, we have a choice of whether to hang on to our fear and keep manipulating (or allowing ourselves to be manipulated), or we can allow our fear to surface, surrender control and trust ourselves and others.

Whenever we manipulate (no matter how subtly) it is because we need to control others and whenever we allow ourselves to be manipulated or blackmailed, it is because there is a pay-off—sometimes a hidden one—for us in this situation. Ask yourself: “What is the pay-off and is it worth it?”