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Jealousy is a good friend because it helps us to define what we want, especially what we subconsciously want, yet may not know consciously. Seven years ago in the late spring we moved into a lovely rented home in Sydney’s North Shore district. The next-door neighbours had a beautiful swimming pool which looked very inviting as the weather became hotter. As a family, we were surprised at how jealous we became of this swimming pool!

We were thankful for this jealousy as

We didn’t know how much we wanted

 — our own swimming pool. What were we going to do about it? We all put it into our five-year goals and we had a swimming pool in our next home within three years. In the meantime our neighbours were very kind and let us swim in their pool.

If you are jealous of your partner when he/she flirts with other people, what your jealousy is telling you is that you want your partner’s undivided attention in matters of the heart. Have you told your partner this? Do you always give your partner the commitment you want from them? Have you owned this need as yours rather than criticising your partner?